I am the oldest and definitely felt that I “carried the burden of expectations,” (Sonik) especially following the divorce. I’m extremely protective of friends and family and much more anxious than either of my siblings.

My brother, the middle child, fits the psychological stereotype of diplomat.  Two years younger than me and three years older than my sister, he lies almost directly in the middle of our ages. He avoids much sibling-comparison because he is the only boy. He is also often ignored or found “doing his own thing,” (Sonik).

My sister, the youngest, grew-up with less rules as the “mold” had already been broken by my brother and I. There are certain expectations she will hopefully live up to because of the mark my brother and I have already left.

Interestingly I found myself nodding in agreement to much of what Madeline was saying in regards to family-roles. I seldom agreed with my class-mates personal tales of family dynamics as it was hard to relate to the “specialty stories”. It’s odd that I feel that my family conforms so wholly to the psychological ideas.

Does the Briggs-Myers test often provide the same results for close family members? My father and I had very similar scores in all four of the categories. As a self-proclaimed “Daddy’s Girl” I share many of his ideals and find myself asking him for advice almost daily. I received the score ENFJ on the test and feel that my nature and nurture has definitely influenced my score. Are certain personalities more suited to mentors than others? All of these things will be further investigated by myself in hopes of making sense of the curiously similar scores between me and my father.

My creative act of the week was a random painting I made for my father’s house. We both love 80s music so the painting is inspired by 80s music (in particular Beds are Burning by Roxy Music).

Many of the points in the assigned article, Edward Stephens’ and Thomas Burke’s  <em>Zen Theory and the Creative Course </em>  seemed to contradict the way this class is taught. For example, Stephens and Burke claimed that as students handed in assignments they began to learn what their teacher’s preferences were and therefore began to stray from their creative instincts and instead gravitate toward what they felt their teacher would enjoy. Unfortunately, in society now it is all about the letter grades. In the 1970s, education was more about learning; grades and percentages held way less importance.  Now, a student will hardly care whether or not they have learned anything in a class, they care more about whether or not they achieve strong marks or poor marks. FA 100 is trying to be different, but with little success. Lack of criteria in assignments is an evident attempt at allowing students to have freedom to think and be creative in their own ways, but we are once again taught to cater to the opinions and tastes of our teachers and T.A.s. Oddly, we are still encouraged to try new things, think outside the box, “ask questions”, with little criteria, but then graded according to our teacher’s views.

I found that when Stephens and Burke described the classroom situation in which the class had a say on whether or not the assignment proved creative I was nodding in agreement. The teacher would, of course, have the final say and veto power, but the students then had more of a chance. Although, implementing this teaching strategy would prove challenging, the overall result would help me (and probably others) flourish. The pressure of being creative within my teacher’s idea of acceptable is reasonable (this is an academic environment), but also bizarre because of the way the class is laid out. My understanding of the aim of FA 100 is not to teach us creativity, but to allow us an environment in which to let our creative inhibitions be released.

Saturday afternoon my inhibitions were released. I did my FIRST zombie make-up application. Adam was wearing a mask which I glued to his face. I then blended around the mask with mortician’s wax and make-up. I “bruised” his arms and neck. Fake blood was spattered everywhere. It was a fun time all around.

My first Zombie Make-Up on Adam

A hypothesis of mine on why we have dreams is so that the mind has something to look forward to while the body is resting. The body needs this rest, but the mind doesn’t, alas, dreams happen to allow the mind to fool around for about a third of the day while the body gets rested. When I suffer from insomnia it is because my mind won’t stop thinking. My thoughts are not ready to agree with the nightly ritual of the dream process.

What I am is in the conscious. I don’t live my life in the unconscious. Yes, I will say, there is a possibility that I have unconscious desires that govern what I do in the conscious, but the key word there is do. I can only complete these actions in the conscious. My mind and thoughts occur in the conscious. They are mine, and they are private which allows me enough space to think thoughts that may not be appropriate for me to say. I do not need the unconscious to be able to do this.

My creative act of the week was to take a short video interviewing my father and his girlfriend on their past experiences involving their unconscious.

The pressure a person working in a creative field feels to produce something meaningful can be immense. As Gilbert said, people were constantly asking her if she was terrified of failure, but her father – the engineer – was never asked the same questions (even though engineering is a creative occupation according to Richard Florida’s definition of the “creative class”).  To be faced with such doubt and judgment from a society that knows little about what working in a creative field is like must be crushing. Therefore, it is understandable that creative people might look to shift the blame to the genius when things don’t work out. Pull out the excuse; take the genius out for a walk when the going gets tough, but lock it in the closet when everything seems all right. It seems only fair. People blame other people, objects, circumstances, etc. for their mistakes everyday. Many creative people, and especially writers, artists, and musicians don’t always have the same resources when assigning the blame; generally it is the creative person’s fault.

My Genius

However, not everyone when creating can be categorized like that. For some people, creativity is random, there is no clear starting point and no final finish. Creativity can not be given a definitive statement like the one Cohen gave.

The second item that stuck out in my mind was Cohen’s beautiful definition of criteria. Criteria are “standards to be reached with respect to particular issues,” (Cohen, p. 61) that have been decided within a given culture. A creative person has the potential to modify the criteria. Essentially, that is precisely what artists of all types are hoping to do. When something is seen in a new light, in a way outside the ordinary it becomes novel and is often given the much sought after title, “creative.” However, couldn’t artists modify other cultures without even realizing it? Some of the world’s “greatest masterpieces” were created by accident. This goes against Cohen’s idea about an artist targeting a particular issue and his idea that creativity is directed.

Carley also suggests that imagination and the ability to change one’s mind is an important factor in creativity. Allowing oneself to change their  mind is an important skill. Or rather, maybe not a skill, but a personality trait. Stubborn people may have a more difficult time accepting a new idea if  information comes along that forces them to change their opinion. Are stubborn people less creative? Thinking in a broader, less narrow-minded manner would appear to be a creative act in its own, but one could create something truly genius if they were fully committed to their opinion and expanded from there.

Upon reading Carley’s article I found myself full of questions; questions I wish I could ask her myself. Maybe that was the purpose of the article, to encourage a little creative thinking, to turn us into “questioners” also.

Now, my creative act of the week was the successful application of my first smokey-eye make-up look. Although, the smokey eye has been around for a long time and many many many people have attempted it and updated it, this was the first time I did a traditional black smokey eye and therefore it was special for ME. This is an example of something others may not find creative because it isn’t novel, but for me it was a novel experience (the result was not new, I’ve seen this look before). I was left pleased and proud of my work.

My beautiful sister, my model

Maybe some people never get to appreciate a peak experience. By suggesting that we all have one is pressure added to those (like myself) who feel that they have never had a peak experience? Will I now be on the look-out for my peak experience and so preoccupied with having one that I can never achieve it?

As a side note, my creative act of the week was me problem-solving. I had forgotten my key to my Dad’s new house and nobody was home, but I really needed to print something off. I tried fitting myself through the dog-door, but that didn’t work. Just as I was about to phone my Dad and ask him to come rescue me I saw the planting stick. I grabbed it, pushed my head through the dog door, reached up, and easily pushed the lock from closed-open in a matter of seconds. I’ve attached a photo of me reenacting the maneuver that saved me from my dilemma of either handing in an assignment late or disturbing my Dad at the office.